Kidnapped
by Akirafanatic
Summary: Shinichi is kidnapped. He doesn't really care anymore
1. Chapter 1

Heiji didn't know if he should be annoyed or amused. "Kudo," He said, looking at his friend who was lounging against the wall - he wondered how comfortable that was with the shackles digging into their wrists that were tied above their heads - looking bored. "ya doin' okay?"

Shinichi yawned. "Just fine."

"You don't look that worried," Kaito said, already out of his shackles and annoying Saguru by shuffling one of his ever present decks of cards.

"What's there to be worried about?"

Heiji was sure they all paused at that, staring at him funny. "We...We've been KIDNAPPED," Saguru said slowly, like he was explaining it to a child.

"And?"

"And? What 'And'? That should be enough to make you at least a LITTLE worried."

"Why?"

"How hard did dey hit yer head?" Heiji asked. "I get why Kuroba ain't worried, but yer treatin' dis like an...inconvenience. Like it happens all da time."

"It does."

Kaito stopped shuffling and frowned. "How many times have you been kidnapped?"

Shinichi yawned and shrugged. "Lost count." He rested the back of his head against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. "They'll probably let us go before too long. Or Megure will notice I'm gone again and have Professor Agasa track my location."

"Track your - WHY would he - HOW would he -" Saguru cut himself off with a frustrated sigh. "You have a TRACKER on you?"

Shinichi yawned again. "Some on me, at least one in me."

Heiji opened his mouth and then closed it again. He stared at his friend for a while before asking, "Da HELL Kudo?"

Shinichi shrugged. "Like I said - this happens a lot."

"Why are you so tired anyway?" Kaito asked after Shinichi yawned for the third time in just as many minutes.

Shinichi ignored the kidnapper who walked in and answered, "I was on a missing child case turned murder all last week. I didn't get any sleep." His stomach made a loud noise.

"Let me guess," Saguru said dryly, "You didn't eat much either."

"I had coffee," Shinichi answered.

"Coffee isn't food." Heiji didn't know if he should be surprised that their kidnapper was now in on the discussion happening. "When was the last time you ate solid food?"

Heiji snorted when Shinichi actually had to THINK about the answer. "When was the last time you got actual sleep?" Kaito was back ot shuffling his cards, and their kidnapper didn't seem to care.

Shinichi shrugged. "Megure had someone - Takagi, probably - drug my coffee on Sunday. Probably got at least two hours of sleep then."

Heiji was concerned. "An what day is it NOW?"

His friend furrowed his brows. "...Tuesday?"

"It's FRIDAY!"

"Oh."

It was surprisingly their kidnapper who snapped at that. "Oh? Not 'oh'! Who the hell doesn't sleep for FIVE DAYS and doesn't even remember to EAT?!"

Shinichi had the gall to point down at himself.

Their kidnapper let out a mix of a groan and a yell before storming out. He returned surprisingly fast with a few blankets and a pillow tossing them down before storming back out and coming in with some rice balls obviously from a convenience store.

Unwrapping one, he all but shoved it in Shinichi's mouth before he stared laying out the blankets and grumbling under his breath. When he was done, he unchained the blue eyed detective and forced the non-resisting detective into the bed. "You have to take care of yourself! You're supposed to be a HOSTAGE! What will the police think if they come and find you dead because you forgot to sleep and eat?!"

Heiji, Kaito, and Saguru all stared. Not because of what was happening - well SLIGHTLY because of what was happening - but because Shinichi was saying the exact same thing in a bored mimicry of their kidnapper. Sighing he said, "You're not the first kidnapper to tell me that."

Heiji shook his head. "An' ya don' find dat a PROBLEM?!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Version Two because I'm having too much fun with this**

* * *

Heiji growled as the kidnapper laid out his demands in return for Shinichi. "How do we even know you have him?" Saguru questioned. "We want to see him."

The kidnapper grinned and motioned to his left. The camera swung over, meaning there were at least two of them. Shinichi was in a chair, metal cuffs around his wrists and ankles kept him firmly bound to said chair. His head was tilted back so they couldn't really see his face, but there was no doubt in Heiji's mind it was him.

"Kudo, ya doin' okay?!" He crumpled the case file in front him him. "We'll get ya out a der, don' worry!"

"No," Shinichi finally looked at the camera, and his expression wasn't one of fear or anger or any common expression for a victim of a kidnapping. He actually looked bored. "That's fine. You don't have to."

Everyone present paused in confusion, staring at the bound detective. Even the kidnappers seemed confused. "What?" Saguru was the one to ask the question. "What do you MEAN we don't have to?"

"Ive been here two days and already I've gotten eight hours of uninterrupted sleep for the first time in a week, eaten more than just a cup of coffee in..." He paused, actually considering how long it had been, "I don't know how long, and nobody has DIED yet." He actually had the nerve to yawn. "I'm fine. Go ahead and leave me here."

Heiji felt his eyebrow twitch in irritation. "Dis ain't a VACATION!"

Shinichi nodded. "It's actually better than my normal vacations since nobody has died yet." As sad as it was, Heiji believed that. He turned to look off screen. "You should end the recording of they might be able to track it here."

"DON'T HELP YOUR KIDNAPPERS!"

"Can I get some more water Ki-" Shinichi cut himself off before continuing "iiiiiiidnapper-san?"

Heiji wasn't amused. "Ya know who has ya, don't ya?" Shinichi didn't answer, not looking at the camera. "Ya know exactly where ya are too, right?" Shinichi still didn't answer or look at the camera and Heiji let his head fall onto the desk with a loud thud.

He listened as the others kept trying to reason with Shinichi who ignored them. Even the kidnappers were arguing with him, although it was more that he was ruining their plans by not acting like a proper hostage. Eventually their arguments turned to blaming each other for this.

Heiji lifted his head just in time to see their argument get heated enough that they wound up killing each other in anger. Shinichi stared at the scene with dead eyes before he let out a heavy sigh and let his head drop forward. "Not a word Hattori. Not. A. Word."


End file.
